The Seals Novice team rolled into the PCU Centre this weekend and crushed all before them... THIS IS SPARTA!

I mean OAKVILLE!

Game 1 of the tourney was a Friday morning affair. The local Principal, knowing how important the game was, decided to close the school so the players could focus on the things that really mattered. Things like destroying the opposition while displaying a ruthless efficiency on the ice, playing the game like the bloodthirsty cyborgs that the coaching staff had trained and showing no mercy in the relentless pursuit of utter worldwide domination. Playing the role of helpless victim on this day were the MacDonald Vipers. At the drop of the puck the Vipers were swept away by a red wave of terror reminiscent of the Chinese Cultural Revolution. The Seals educated their opponents in the finer points of lightning warfare, smothering them with a ferocious intensity that brought to mind the Romans razing Carthage after the Punic Wars. It was truly an epic performance that ultimately culminated with an 8-5 victory. Daehan Butler played the part of Hadrian's Wall in net, thwarting the Vipers at every turn while Cam Sarna played the role of the assassin, sniping four goals. Maddox Shindle (3) and Christopher Topfer also blew pucks past the overwhelmed Macdonald goalie. This was a game that was truly over before it had really begun. Following the game the coaches and players sang, danced and feasted like the Vikings after a successful raid. It was a fitting end to a great victory.

The second game proved to be more dfficult but the courage and mental strength of the Seals was too much for the Altona Maroons. Entering the ice surface like modern-day gladiators accompanied by the boom of the Terriers goal horn the Seals stifling defense limited Altona to 1 goal. Debutante goalie Shindle came up big, cruelly breaking the Maroons hearts with a cold-blooded save in the final seconds of the game. Like the Defense of Little round Top, the Seals bayonet charge from a defensive position caught the Maroons off-guard and led to goals by "Mad" Jack Holmes and Colby Nikkel. Both goals were the result of blazing solo dashes up the ice that left Altona's defense in tatters with retreat as their only option. Every time the Maroons showed any life, Kirby "the Crusher" Vince would deliver another devestating bodycheck that shook the PCU Centre and Altona's confidence. With each passing moment the hardened warriors in red seemed to suck the life out of their opponents, leaving them broken. It was as though the original Seals had returned to destroy the Maroons hopes and dreams one last time.

Saturday dawned as another opportunity for the BIG RED MACHINE to emphasize their superiority over all who defied them and the Seals once again seized the day. Staring across the battlefield at the Winkler Flyers, the Seals chose to go on the offensive, charging at their opponents like the Light Brigade. Unlike the Light Brigade however, the Seals were able to establish a firm foothold in Winkler territory and decimate their defenses. Four goals from the "Little General" Sarna, a hat-trick from Shindle and another dagger from Nikkel supported Topfer's efforts in goal. Taylor Klaassen and Seanna Nikkel functioned like razor-sharp cogs in the machine and the rout was on to the tune of 8-6. The Seals once again danced and feasted the night away, comfortable in their own success but hungry for more.

Sunday was the final leg of the Seals PMHA Tournament campaign and they arose to the smell of smoke and the sounds of wailing. The Lorette Comets B had marched like barbarians to the gates of the Seals kingdom leaving a trail of destruction and sorrow in their wake. But the Red Army was more than willing to meet the challenge of their opponents and so they descended to the frozen battlefield to once again prove their might. Inspired by Coach Klaassen's cry to, "Win today and live forever in the songs of history!", the Seals roared out of the gates and drove back the Comets with wave after wave of unwavering intensity. Two goals each from Holmes, Sarna and Shindle and a single marker from the quiver of Nikkel left their opponents trembling and the Seals hearts singing! Andrew Buchanan's ferocious forechecking created a siege-like atmosphere in the Lorette end that recalled the Siege of Nicaea by the Ottomans. No mercy was bestowed upon their tired opponents by the Seals Immortals. The defensive play meant that Butler stood tall and proud in the cage with little concern. He simply made all the saves when they came his way in the calm, cool manner that the entire unit was displaying in front of him. The 8-2 final score reflected what all had known, the Seals stood alone atop the mountain! Gold medals were claimed from the PMHA treasury and the Seals returned home as conquerors...

Seals Squeals: The absence of @sliderlee was noted by many in attendance at the tournament with a number of Moms describing it as 'a tragedy'... Tristan Blight and Jackson Lee have had their suspensions for academic fraud lifted and will be eligible to retirn this weekend when the Seals play Portage Terriers 2 on Saturday... The Canadian governement has released figures that show that the Canadian economy grew by 11% over the weekend due to the $77.4 million in quarters spent at the PCU Centre's many candy dispensers... There is apparantly no truth to the rumours that the Seals have explored a trade involving Maddox Shindle moving to Elm Creek in exchange for several left over Taco-in-a-bags... The Seals Novice game with Gladstone originally scheduled for December 14 has been moved to December 7 at 1:45 in Gladstone...